21 Hilarious Christine Sydelko Tweets That Deserve To Be Hung In A Museum


This accurate description of straight guys:

when 2 straight guys accidentally brush hands while walking


When she asked the question that we’ve ALL had about pets:

I still think all cats are girls and all dogs are boys is that unwoke


And this holidays realization:


That time she slid into B.O.B.’s DMs and history was made:


When she called people out on their Pussycat Dolls bullshit:

I won't allow any "the only pussycat doll I know is nicole scherzinger" bs you know damn well snoop dogg listed them all by name in buttons


When she asked this important question about living in Los Angeles:

I've lived in LA for over a year and have never done cocaine I really deserve an award


And then shared this information with us:

the only time I ever did drugs was a mystery pill at coachella and I started twitching so hard I kneed myself in the face so… never again


When she might have mixed up her history on the Fourth of July:

happy birthday Abraham Lincoln I can't believe it's been 30 years since you died in hurricane sandy much respect


When she revealed she might have committed a felony:

I'm ashamed that I own paul blart mall cop on dvd but I'm even more ashamed that I stole it from my grandma's retirement home


The time she roasted Cameron Dallas:


When she made this crucial observation:

why do I look like a toddler and old man at the same time


And shared this unfortunate mix-up with a family member:

in college I made a status saying I was going to study abroad in Genovia and my aunt thought is was real and I never told her it was a joke


When she shared this riveting story about going back to the ‘burbs:

I've been in the suburbs for less than 48 hours and already found out my neighbor is cheating on his wife and crashed a Tupperware party


When she was looking for answers about mascot anatomy:

ok but which one of the hamburger helper glove's fingers is his dick?


When Lin-Manuel Miranda HIMSELF started using her vocabulary:


When she shared this tale about when she smoked and hilarity ensued:

I got high and thought it would be funny to order $50 worth of cereal but now I just realized I have no bowls and also it's not even funny


And then another “getting high” story:

I'm so high I just tried to Shazam a song that was playing in my sims game


When she tried to pull a fast one on us:

tweet me the last 4 digits of your social security number and your mother's maiden name for a shoutout!! :)


When she shared the plight of being a millennial:

I don't even eat avocado toast and I'm still poor


Also, this one:

I wish drive in movies were still a thing not because I'm nostalgic but because I want to literally live in my car


And finally, this classic Hall-of-Fame tweet:

Ok but why do I look like the fucking ride

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